Dating A Recently Divorced Cougar
One of the things that comes up when you’re dating a Cougar is that you may be dating someone who is divorced. Does that put you off? Man up, young Cub. Divorced women just have more experience to go with that baggage that they’re carrying. Now, if you’re looking at a Cougar who was divorced years ago, then it would really be like dating any other Cougar that you can think of. It is when the divorce is more recent that you have to tread more carefully.
You might ask why a Cougar who was recently divorced is throwing her cap into the arena at all and while we don’t have an answer for every Cougar who chooses to do so, some people just want to be able to date casually. Being alone can suck and more than that, if you’re used to having someone around it can be more than a little maddening. So here are some things to keep in mind when you’re seeing someone who is recently divorced.
1) Do not jump the gun.
They just got out of a long term relationship. Do you think that they’re looking to be in a new long term relationship with you? You’d be wrong. Maybe their feelings will change eventually, but you’re going to want to keep things casual and light around your Cougar for a little bit. Show her that dating can be fun and that not all relationships have to be the stressful one that she pulled herself out of. The last thing that you want to do is create pressure (whether real or imagined) that she’ll have to deal with.
2) Have a little patience.
This is key, especially with people who are still reeling from their current divorce. Even if it was a long time coming and even if they’re happy to be out of it, you have to keep in mind that going through a divorce is a tiring process. It’s one that takes a lot out of you, so do your best to go slow. Things are going to go a little bit slower when it comes to divorced Cougars (emotionally if not physically). If you don’t think you can be patient when it comes to the development of your relationship, then you’d best shove off.
3) Don’t compare yourself to her ex/trash her ex.
There’s a reason that she’s not with him anymore, and you might think that you’re better than he could ever be, but you have to remember that there was also a reason why your Cougar loved her ex in the first place. While it’s fine for you to complain about your ex, you wouldn’t want your Cougar trashing a girl that you were once in love with, right? The same goes for your Cougar’s ex. You can agree with some of the things that she is saying or tell her that you think that she’s better off now, but you want to avoid outright insulting any one that she’s dated. That can look like a slight on your Cougar if you’re not careful. Instead, focus on being a good listener and someone she can lean on because that’s what she needs right now rather than a white knight.