Sex Lube

lubeWhile most people don’t think about lube when it’s on hand, or coming out of our bodies, we all notice when we hit a dry spell. Whatever the reason: menopause, her time of/in the month, our mood that day, the ingestion of pills to make us less depressed or less likely to get pregnant, hydration, our level of arousal or how long the sex session is going, we all know when we’re fighting with friction. When nature’s lube (that would be spit, vaginal secretions and semen too) halts production, or when our bottles (which hold store-bought lube), are empty, we are fucked, and not in that feel good kind of way.

For the times that nature doesn’t provide enough wet goodness, there are a whole heap of lubes you can buy in a bottle, a jar or a tube. For the times when nature produces too much lube, there’s not a whole lot you can do, well, except wipe up or keep a towel, or Fascinator Throe around. Unfortunately there’s little information about what to do if you’re healthy and producing a lot of lube, and outside of mopping it up and carrying on, or perhaps having sex on a slip-n-slide, it’s a sticky subject with no real solution.

Hint: the most popular lubes are water-based, silicone and oil.

As for when-to-use-what-lube – the act, or the person, will help make that call. It’s always good to know when to use a lube without glycerin (if she’s sensitive), when you can use an oil-based lube (when you’re not wearing latex) and when you must always use lube (think anal). Some women don’t like silicone lube in their vagina, but lots of people love it for anal sex, especially since lube generally flushes out of the anus after a bowel movement. And since the bum does not self-lubricate, getting the lube up the butt before anything else goes up there is a good idea. For that, try a lube shooter.

Also worth noting, not everything available in liquid form should be considered lube. While bacon lard, conditioner, shampoo, hand sanitizer, soap and hand lotion may seem like good ideas at the time (and in a pinch), a better idea would to have lube around so you don’t need to desperately search for something that will work to get your rocks off right now.

Here are some other things to know about lube:

Silicone lube is not really edible. That means if you want to go from mouth to pussy, or mouth to penis, (mouth to ass is fine once, in that direction, but ass to mouth is not generally hygienic) then you don’t want to use silicone lube. However, silicone lube can be great when mouth isn’t involved, for example, during anal sex or for a full body massage. As far as silicone lubes go (and they can go, and go, and go) Eros is the top choice.
Oil based lubes (like actual coconut oil and jojoba oil) work well if you’re not wearing latex, which means you can use most oil based lubes with polyurethane condoms too. If you are fluid bonded, meaning that your juices all mix together without barriers, then you can most definitely use an oil based lube, or a cooking oil. Coconut oil is a crowd favorite.

Glycerin is found in most water-based lubes. While glycerin keeps water-based lubes from drying out quickly, glycerin is a sugar, and sugar can cause yeast infections and urinary tract infections. If she’s using a lube and notices an itch, it may be the glycerin. Lubes that don’t contain glycerin often say so on the packaging. Also, as you feel your water-based lube drying out, use more water to resuscitate it. That could mean wipe some spit on the lube, or keep a spray bottle next to the bed.

For a more natural lube, try Sliquid Sea. (Available in stores) Although Sliquid Sea is a natural lube, there is no such thing as a 100% manufactured organic lube. Good Clean Love and Aloe Cadabra are two of the (other) most natural, organic lubes around.

Just say no to nonoxynol 9. I once read that it was brought to America to sanitize hospital floors. Regardless of what nonoxynol 9 came to the country to do, the fact that it seeks and destroys sperm also means it can do damage to sensitive lady (vagina) and man/lady (anus) bits. I have personal proof that it’s toxic; it bleached out the color in the carpet of my bedroom.

Not all lubes are sperm-friendly. In fact, there is only one lube that is recommended for encouraging sperm to swim up her cervix. It’s called Pre-Seed and it claims to be the only fertility-friendly lube on the market. Before pre-seed, women who were trying to get pregnant would use egg whites. You can still use egg whites for lube, but be warned: you may get an infection.

Warm the lube to show you care. Instead of squeezing lube directly onto your lover’s body, it’s nicer if you put it in your hands first. This helps warm it up just a little. Otherwise lube can be cold and cold can be jarring. It also allows you to feel the consistency of the product and gives you an idea of how long the lube will last on your skin.

Whatever lube you choose, stock up now and thank me later!